I am a massive “Alice Cooper” fan and I’ve seen him in concert numerous times (if you ever get the chance do go see him, he is a fantastic showman, BTW) but I hear you ask where exactly are you going with this? well as with most musical acts these days he plays his concert and at the end scoots off stage with his band in tow, but you know he is going to come back to play his encore as he hasn’t sung “Schools Out” yet, it’s only after this that the concert is really at an end.
Well this is my “Schools Out”.
I’d like to begin by thanking all of you who have shown support for me (misplaced as you will soon discover) and for all the calls for me to continue with my blog. In a way all this support I have received would make it harder for me to reverse my decision, as I feel to do so would smack of gross cynicism on my part, the old “support this shop or lose it” attitude. This was never meant as a gimmick to drum up more followers or comments, but was a genuine feeling of need to bring this stage of my life to a natural end. I honestly just thought the few usual suspects (Simon, Dave, Bryan, Mark, IRO etc…), would see it and after a few “sorry to see you go” comments I would shuffle off into the wastelands, and everyone would carry on as before, soon to be forgotten.
Now there has been some vitriol aimed at Jez (Carrion Crow), as being the reason for my decision to quit blogging, well first off the opinions he stated in his post were not even his, but those of other bloggers that he felt he needed to bring to the attention of his followers. On top of which having now re-read Jez’s original post again…
(Something I should have done before my last posting!) it is all very tame and reasonable, the very fact that many of his posts are thought provoking is one of the things I most enjoy about his blog, and his opinions are always valid, he should never change that! Yet it would seem like a festering sore I have carried this idea around with me until it has grown out of all proportion, and all the inflammatory language I used is all mine and should not reflect upon Jez in any way….
“A while ago I came across a post on a fellow bloggers site informing the world of a cancer that was driving away real wargamers from the internet…”posers” who though claiming to be gamers were in fact nothing but shameless self-promoters, who like some sixteen year old girl posting endless “selfies” of themselves, merely used their blogs to showcase their latest figures and bask in the praise of other bloggers rather than posting “Batreps” of the games that they played.”
This is all me, if anyone has been “trolling” me it is myself, so please point all flaming torches and pitchforks in my direction. This brings me to the conclusion that a severe case of self-disappointment is what has attributed to me reaching this point, I have always referred to myself as a “gamer” but the brutal truth is I am not, I wish I were, but truth be told I’m just not that into actually playing “wargames” or any games really, I’ve never been a child of the computer game generation even though I had an Atari 2600 back in the day, but after only about eight months sold it on to the some of my parent’s friends for their grandchildren. I’ve never really played a computer game since, no matter how many times I’ve been told by friends “Oh you should play this, it’s right up you alley!”. I do love the idea of a beautifully set up table with lots of exquisite scenery and exciting adventures concerning heroes and armored warriors rushing into simulated battle, but the reality of actually rolling the dice and moving the figures about just leaves me somewhat cold (sorry). I do still play the occasional game with my sons (X wing, Zombiecide etc…) but this is more out loyalty and because it’s my kids, rather than the thrill of the game itself. A bit like the model railway I have always dreamed of building, though the idea of playing with the trains again seems like a bit of a waste of time.
But this is not the only reason I have decided to call it a day (it is a small part of it, but there are other considerations too). I’m just not enjoying it as much as I used too (or should), and I do want to try some different things in the very limited bits of spare time I seem to get these days. Much as I enjoy blogging it does have a bit of a monopolising effect on your time to get stuff done so as not to let down your readers, something Simon seems to be able to do with consummate ease turning out two or even three excellent well written and entertaining post a week! Whereas I always seemed to be struggling to hit my personally imposed weekend deadline. Now I know this is daft and I should post when I want, but that’s just how I am.
I started this blog with the aim of making me paint some of my pile of unpainted figures and in this respect I have done so (not all of them but as we all know when you’ve painted all your figures you die!). So I would like to consider my time blogging as well spent on the whole.
However since Christmas though I have been secretly hoping that something would rekindle my interest and enthusiasm on one of the blogs or the TMP, and kick-start me off painting again, nothing sadly has re-lit the spark, even though there has been lots of gorgeous stuff on show. I will of course still be around the blogs, commenting, I’m still interested in what you all get up to, so you haven’t got rid of me completely, I have made too many good friends here for that.
As for my sewing, some of you seem to have the idea that I plan on creating a new wardrobe for my “Action man” collection, no, no no!, I will not be doing this, likewise I WILL NOT be taking up cosplay, though I have no problem with others doing this, I, as a sad overweight fifty year old man have no desire for people to see me dressed as…well just about anything really, I’d much rather blend into the background at a comic con, happily buying my old comics. So far I have made three cases for my glasses, and a half finished cover for the back of my computer chair (the cats have scratched the heck out of the original!). Next up we plan on making some new curtains for the little bedroom, so hardly riveting blog-post content there!
Though at present I can’t see me coming back into the hobby any time soon, never say never. So….
“Schools out, thank you and goodnight” and he leaves the stage.
No amount of chanting “Alice” is going to bring him back, the house lights come on…
It’s time to go home.